Under normal circumstances I never would’ve had a problem with my brother’s spouse helping settle my mom’s estate. In fact I often imagined how things would’ve been had Satan not been in the picture. I think had he still been with his ex, things would’ve gone a lot smoother and there’s no question we all would’ve worked as a team. I cannot for the life of me understand why Satan felt the need to control my mom’s estate, or even the need to be involved. There is absolutely nothing fun about finalizing someone’s existence on paper. All she cared about from day one, was the nice chunk of change my brother was going to inherit. Things could’ve been totally different and even somewhat civil had she approached everything in a different manner. Like most narcissists, Satan had a massive amount of entitlement. She thinks just because she’s married to my brother, she automatically gets our respect. She thinks because she is his wife, she had a right to control every aspect of his life, including his interactions with his family. That’s because she had my brother convinced since day one that she was the most intelligent person on the planet and that she has experience doing anything and everything you can think of. In fact, I recently listened to a tape of her and my mom arguing back from when her and my brother first got engaged and our relationship went south. At that point in time she had only been around for a little over 6 months and had met my extended family on only one occasion, yet she is talking about my family as if she is already part of it. The part I have the most trouble with is that this woman treated my mother horribly for over 2 years prior to her death. She spoke to my mom like she was a worthless piece of dirt, and it wasn’t just once or twice. It’s evidenced in a collection of nasty texts and recorded arguments. She only started to treat my mom a little better only a few months before my mom found the mass on her kidney. My mom did not care for Satan at all but began at that point to tolerate her just so she could see her granddaughter.
Although the relationship became somewhat amicable between her and my mom in the last 8 months or so of my mom’s life, my mom couldn’t stand Satan and her feelings about her were no secret, especially to her family. My mom’s two closest sisters act like they didn’t know how my mom felt. That is another thing I still cannot wrap my head around. My family thinks I am somehow in the wrong for not wanting to her involved in my mom’s affairs. For starters, my mom made it more than abundantly clear that she didn’t want her involved either. Also, looking at it from my point of view, Satan is essentially a stranger to me. I never had any type of relationship with her because I never got time to build one and to be quite honest, it was clear that she had no interest in building one from the very beginning. With that said, I’d love to ask my family, why is it ok that I have to be forced to discuss and negotiate my mother’s estate with a dishonest stranger in whom I didn’t care for or trust? She is a proven liar. Why should Satan get my respect? I tried to be amicable with her. I tried to tolerate her, but time and time again she overstepped boundaries by doing things like, invading my mother’s privacy, planting cameras in her house, lying to and manipulating my mother while she lie on her death bed etc. Maybe I am wrong but I cannot just forget the way she treated my mom for all those years, especially since there was never any sort of apology, culpability or even so much as an acknowledgment on her end, that she was shitty to my mom. I’m sorry, but I think I have good reason to not trust this person and to not want to deal with her. Everything she had shown me was not just negative but straight up devious.
I wanted Satan to know that I knew she was the person writing those emails to me. I assume their attorney finally got in touch with them because the next email I got from my brother was “him” saying that he had tried to call me. He left me his number but it wasn’t his cellphone number. It ended up the number he gave me was the landline number at their house. That was the only number I was allowed to call. I’m sure this was so Satan could intercept and screen my phone calls before my brother called me back. Every time I tried to call it, I got their answering machine. I called my brother back for what ended up being the only and only time I actually physically spoke to him during the entire year that we were co-executors. You can listen to the phone call on YouTube by clicking here.
It was clear from this call that my brother was being coached by his wife. The call only helped to confirm my suspicions that my brother was not the one writing the emails. I brought up several issues that were discussed in the emails, and he had no idea what I was talking about. My brother also recorded this call, and reportedly in his copy his wife can be heard writing furiously with a sharpie marker, banging the table to get his attention and whispering responses in his ear. Again, I know how my brother normally acts and speaks and I could tell that he was being coached. This is why Satan did not want us speaking on the phone or in person. It was too hard for her to control the conversation that way. My brother NEVER was a good liar, and in fact, it was a running joke in our household because he was so terrible at it. When he started smoking at age 16 he didn’t even bother lying to my parents about it. Instead, he walked into the kitchen one day and slammed a pack of Marlboro reds on the table and said, “Mom and dad, I smoke now.”. Ever since he met Satan, he’s been forced to lie, but as his sister, I can still tell when he’s lying. I can hear the hesitation in his voice after I ask questions and I can tell by his hostile reactions to my questions.
I also want to address the fact that you can clearly hear that I’m annoyed as well in this phone call. I really tried to keep my cool but at this point in time it was extremely hard for me. This was after months and months of lies and sneaky behavior, plus the fact that they were trying to act as if they were the estate bosses, and I was some sort of minion. They didn’t care that I was in “control” when my mom was sick. They didn’t care that I was the main care taker. They didn’t help with ANYTHING substantial while she was sick, but now suddenly they felt entitled to not only help, but to completely control everything and boss me around. All the prior bullshit really bothered me, but I think what bothered me the most was the complete lack of emotion from my brother. Not once throughout this whole process did I hear him express any type of sorrow or grief about my mom. In fact she was hardly ever mentioned. There were times I tried to pull emotions out and I expressed how sad I was, and how hard this was for me, but all I got in return was cold, unemotional, robotic responses. That was because I wasn’t talking to my brother. Still, even in this phone call he is so cold. His only concern was getting his money. He was completely unbothered by the fact that we had to part with our childhood home and everything in it. I feel sorry for my brother. I pity him. I cannot imagine not being able to be vulnerable in front of my husband. It’s clear that my brother cannot show any weakness in front of his wife. During the last two days of my mom’s life it became evident to me. When Satan was around he would just sit there with this blank look on his face. When she finally left that last night to go to the party she was hosting at her house (I can’t make this shit up!) I saw him cry for the first time. When she wasn’t there I saw tears. My friend who was also my mom’s nurse that night said she came in at one point and my brother was in my mom’s room alone, bawling his eyes out. I want to believe that the brother I once knew is somewhere inside and that he’s not the cold, empty shell he has to be when Satan is around. It’s so disheartening to see someone that you’ve known your whole life to be sensitive and caring, turn into an emotionless robot. I hate Satan. She stole my brother’s soul and completely destroyed it.
Because Satan can’t leave well enough alone, the next day I received another bullshit, formally written, bullet formatted unnecessary e-mail from my “brother”, to “follow-up” on our call that read:
Subject: Estate Follow-up – Conversation of 8/21/2017
Per our conversation last night:
• I‘ve attached email that I received from the bank regarding opening the Estate account. I’ve already forwarded my information to the bank, and I will drop off the originals that I have prior to the opening of the account. As I have repeatedly stated, I am only available Monday through Friday on my lunch break. I am not available any Saturdays and this is non-negotiable. Upon closing the [bank] accounts and receiving certified / bank checks, the estate account will be opened and bills will be paid immediately on site.
• I will forward you the email from the accountant. She will send us her fee and mail us tax returns for signature.
• You said that you will make the claim for [my mother’s cancer insurance] I will send you her medical records once I receive them. Please send me a copy of the claim.
• Have you forwarded the mail yet?
• I will contact the investment accounts and get the necessary paperwork.
• I’ve contacted [my mother’s job] regarding the profit-sharing plan.
• [water supply company] is sending a current bill to me.
• [loan company] is sending me account information.
• I sent a certified death certificate and an original letter to her life insurance company as they have requested it numerous times, so that they can pay the death benefit.
• Please obtain two comps from local realtors for the house. I will do the same. A private sale is always in the best interest of the Estate. The house does not need to be emptied at all before it can be offered for sale. We will have plenty of time to clean it out before the closing. Paying any more bills on the house is not in the best interest of the Estate.
• I will take my personal items from the house. I will give you an opportunity to object to any non-personal items that I’d like to take. I’ve already stated that I’d like to take the utility wagon from the shed.
• Per the Stipulation of Settlement, as co-executors the approval of both of us is required to take any action on the Estate. That does not mean that we both physically need to be present to complete all actions, as long as written approval to act is provided. Documents that require two signatures can be signed in counterparts. Please consult your attorney if you have any questions about this.
I was COMPLETELY. FUCKING. FED. UP. Satan had to go…..
To be continued……..