My mind was reeling from the information I had just found out. I had to walk into my mom’s room and act as if the attending physician didn’t just recommend that my mom go on hospice. So much was happening at once. The physical therapist came in and discussed getting my mom up and out of bed, but as he was talking the lawyer had come walking in. It was overwhelming, but in a sense the distraction was needed. I wanted so badly to call my husband and let him know what was going on, but I couldn’t. The lawyer introduced himself. I asked my mom if she wanted me to leave the room. She looked at the lawyer as if he was going to advise me. I told her I had absolutely no problem leaving. In fact, at that point, I wanted to leave. I had already heard enough horrible news. The day after my mom told me she didn’t think I was going to be able to handle selling her estate and such, I knew that my brother and Satan had gotten to her. I text her the next morning and asked her who put that in her head? She told me she just thought it was going to be hard and too involved for me, and if I needed to get help going to the town, because my parents didn’t have permits for some of the structures on the house and property, that I’d have to be able to get along with my brother, and ask him for help. That answer told me everything I needed to know. I knew my brother went in there like he was on a job interview, or something, and sold himself to her as the better candidate for the job. My brother had worked in the title insurance business for almost a decade and therefore was more “qualified” than me. I knew they put these things into her head. I reminded my mom that not only had I taken real estate classes but my husband and I also have been through the process of purchasing a home, and of course, he’d be there to help me, as well. I am not going to lie, it hurt that my mom had doubted me, but I had to just let it go and accept that ultimately it was HER choice, and even if I didn’t agree with it, I’d have to honor and respect it.
My mom asked the lawyer what he thought and he told my mom that it was up to her. She looked at me and said, “Just stay.”, and so I did.The lawyer sat down and explained a little about what he does and how he was granted to work with cancer patients. He then described what services he provided and asked my mom what exactly she was looking to do. My mom explained that she had a will that was written two decades ago and that it named my two aunts as executors, and she wanted to change it. She also wanted to do a power of attorney. He explained that power of attorney was a simple, standard form that just needed to be signed and notarized. The will however was going to take a little more time for him to do. He then asked what she wanted her will to say and she told him, everything split right down the middle, between me and my brother, 50/50….and then came the big question. Who do you want to be the executor? That’s when my mom asked, “can it be both my son and my and my daughter?”. The lawyer answered, “It can be whatever you want.”, and so with that my mom said then put them both as co-executors.
She looked over at me and I guess she could tell I wasn’t exactly happy, and so she said, “what’s wrong?”, and to be quite honest, I was ready to tell her to just put my brother and leave me off of it; because either way, whether I was there or not, he, or rather Satan, was going to be in control. If my mom only knew the full extent of what they had been doing in the last few weeks, she wouldn’t have said what she was about to say. She turned to the lawyer and said, “she thinks they’re going to fight, but I don’t think so.”. I just made a face and sat there. Then I said, “it’s your choice ma. It’s your decision, but I’m not so sure about that.”. She looked at the lawyer again and said, “they won’t fight….they won’t fight.”. I don’t know what made my mom think that Satan was going to stay out of it and let me and my brother handle things. I interjected once again and said, “can I just say that if you are going to do that, maybe you should be a little more specific about who gets what.”. Again she said, “Its 50/50, I don’t have anything.”. I said “I’m not talking about money. I’m talking about things.” and she replied, “I don’t have anything.”. I didn’t want to argue. The money was the least of my concern. My concern was the sentimental stuff from her house that didn’t have a monetary value. Things like pictures and our home videos. I told my mom, “you’re right, it’s 50/50.”
I am not saying I am psychic, but if there’s anything I learned in the last three years of my life it’s that I was dealing with a malignant, psychopathic narcissist, who had my brother completely brainwashed against me, and would go to no ends to destroy me. In the weeks leading up to that day it was more than clear that Satan was putting on a really good show for everyone and my mom was starting to fall for it. I knew that this girl had sucked not only her and my brother, but half of my entire extended family into her web. I felt like I was watching two trains on the same track heading towards each other, in slow motion, and I was trying to stop the collision. I knew that once my mom passed it was going to be the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my entire life, and I was trying everything I could to avoid having any more stress added to it. I knew that once my mom was out of the picture, the gloves were going to come off and Satan was going to go full speed ahead. She had no empathy for me. She didn’t owe me anything. She saw me as a threat and I was standing in the way of HER MONEY.
The lawyer took down the rest of the info he needed and told my mom she’d hear from him in about a week or so and with that, the meeting was over and he left. I excused myself from the room. I had to go downstairs and call my husband. My mom asked me if I was mad and I told her, “no…..I am worried.”. She told me she really didn’t think I had anything to worry about and I replied, “I guess I will see.”.
Once again I felt like I was hit by a freight train. I called my husband up and told him about that and the doctor suggesting hospice. He agreed that my brother and Satan had gotten into my mom’s head that day. I also believe my Aunt Bea, Uncle Bob and Aunt Debbie played a huge role in my mom’s change of heart. I think of all of them, Aunt Bea was the worst. She was trying to sell Satan as a smart and savvy business woman, to my mom throughout her whole sickness. My mom would tell me every time my aunt Bea would make a comment like that to her, and prior to the past two weeks it would make her angry. My husband said to me, “you know what, who cares? Let them control everything. Let them have them have everything. That’s not what this is about. You have something they will never have. You know what you did for your mom and that’s all that matters. You have gone way above and beyond. You spent the time with her and they didn’t. They will never have that.”
He was right. No one could take away that precious time. No one could take away the moments I had with her. He told me to just continue doing what I was doing and forget everything else. He was right. It wasn’t about money or things, it was about her. I told my mom I’d hold her hand until the very end and I continued to do just that.
In the meantime I called my mom’s cousin and told her the bad news about the doctor suggesting she go on hospice and stop dialysis, and her cousin questioned whether or not I thought my mom was that bad yet. She made me think, and so when we hung up I started to research what would happen if someone stopped doing dialysis. I was up all night reading about it and from what I gathered it sounded like suicide, like a horrible way to die. Eventually toxins would build up in your system and slowly poison you to death. It would only be a matter of weeks. I knew my mom was not ready to go and so with that I wrote my husband a text telling him we were going to have to bring my mom home with us.
I was around 3am and my husband came downstairs and told me he had an idea. We would give up our family room and let my mom stay in there. We could clear out our laundry room which had its own separate entry to the house and he’d build a door to block her off from the rest of the house so she could have her own private little studio apartment. We’d set up her bed and a desk with her computer so she could work. He said, “we will make it work.” and with that, I went to bed with a little peace in my heart that night….
(To be continued in my next post)