Stress can do crazy things to you. We all know this. When cortisol (the stress hormone) levels start to sky rocket, it can throw of the whole system. My mom was at her wits end with Satan and my brother, for not sending me a thank you for the gift I sent along with her to Satan’s baby shower. Satan’s scheduled c-section was only about a week away and my mom started to get really bad anxiety about it. Although my mom still lived in the house that I grew up in she had kind of become the unofficial 4th member of my household and in a sense she almost became dependent on me, maybe even codependent that whatever she had to do in life, I’d be there. My husband and I always included her in on whatever we were doing. If we were bringing my son to the zoo, she was invited. If we were going out to dinner, she came with us. She even virtually ate dinner with us every night. She loved to FaceTime with us so she can see my son and so we’d set the iPad up at the table while we were eating dinner and it was like she was at the dinner table with us. Things were awkward for her too around Satan and my brother. She would’ve liked me to be with her, when she went up to see the baby. She was losing the support of her family because everyone seemed to think the baby suddenly was supposed to make Satan the Virgin Mary and make the year and a half long feud between us, magically go away.
One day my mom called me and started complaining about this kind of burning, tingling sensation on one of her arms. My mom would often get these weird things and we almost always wrote it off as side effects from her kidney transplant medication. Being on steroids long term made you susceptible to all sorts of crazy things. A few days later however she started to notice a redness in the area where she felt the tingling sensation. Along with the redness, she started to notice little white blisters. She googled her symptoms online and sure enough she had the shingles. If you’re not familiar with the shingles virus it actually comes from the chicken pox virus. If you had the chicken pox at some point in your life then you probably have the shingles virus in you as well. For most people it stays dormant. It imbeds itself deep into your nerves. If you read about shingles online just about every single article you read says it is usually brought out by stress.
I couldn’t believe it my mom was so worried and so distressed about the arrival of this baby that she literally made herself sick over it.
The baby was born sometime in early April. Sadly I don’t even know the exact date. My mom was told Satan didn’t want visitors. It didn’t matter anyway, my mom couldn’t go with the shingles. While she really wanted to meet her new grand daughter she was also kind of relieved that she didn’t have to go to the hospital and feel awkward. I, myself was sad. My brother was there when my son was born. He was also The Godfather of my son too. That was another fun time with my brother and Satan. My son’s christening was back when Satan and him first moved in together. I wasn’t blacklisted just yet. I made my self proclaimed, atheist brother, the godson of my kid. Makes sense right? Anyway my brother asked me what time he should be at the church and I told him 1:00pm. I told him the priest wanted us and the godparents there a half hour early, as the ceremony stared at 1:30. He told me, Satan had to pick her daughter up from a swim meet may be late. I told him that’s fine so long as he was on time. He told me not to worry, that he’d be there in time even if he had to drive himself and have her meet him there. It was 1:10…..no sign of my brother. 1:15……no sign of my brother. 1:20, 1:25…..the priest is getting ready to start! Finally at 1:28 my brother comes walking through the door with Satan and her daughter. I was annoyed to say the least but I kept it to myself.
I believe that was the first party with my family that Satan attended. Her and my brother hid in a corner of my backyard the entire time and didn’t socialize with anyone. It was really bizarre. My family is not that stuffy kind. They’re fun. Very warm and inviting too. Anyway, my neighbor comes by the next day. She tells me that before the party she went to get her nails done. She was in the nail salon at about 12:45, when at 12:50 this blonde haired woman walks in like she owns the place. She’s being rude and condescending to the nice Korean man who runs the nail salon. He accommodates at the station right next to my neighbor. There’s a woman on the other side and my neighbor is having a conversation with her. She tells her she’s going to a christening party for a boy. The woman says she is going to one for a boy too! They laughed and asked where they were going. Suddenly the blonde woman jumps in and says that she too is going to a christening for a boy and she starts pressing my neighbor to find out what the boy’s name is. My neighbor says my son’s name. The blonde woman says, “that’s the boy’s name for the christening I’m going to.”. They find out they’re going to the same place. My neighbor had just met Satan. My neighbor leaves the nail salon at 1:00 and Satan still has her nails in the dryer. At the party Satan and my brother apologize for being late and Satan goes into a whole story how her daughter had a swim meet and she had to pick her up and they came straight to the church afterwards. To find out the next day that; that was a complete and utter lie, it was sickening. Knowing my neighbor saw herd she still decided to lie. That was one of the many red flags that troubled me about her. It was like she had no resolve. No worries about making a good impression on my family.
My mom eventually got to see the baby once her shingles rash cleared up. Even though she was cleared by her doctor to be around an infant, Satan would not allow my mom to hold her and so she met her first granddaughter from afar for the first time and didn’t even get to hold her! My mom said the whole visit was just awkward altogether. Satan claimed she couldn’t hold the baby due to an injury that she incurred after the baby was born. Supposedly the doctor gave her some type of shot and he did so incorrectly and injured her arm. She milked the injury for months and was all holed up on painkillers. My mom said she was talking a mile a minute (worse than she normally did). She said she couldn’t hold the baby but my mom saw her using the allegedly injured arm all day and it seemed fine. I didn’t know this but Borderlines are infamous for faking injuries and illnesses. Just like she had that extreme form of morning sickness. Personally I believe she faked the injury so she wouldn’t have to care for the baby. My mom said my brother was doing everything (a year and a half later, that hasn’t changed). I also think Satan enjoyed the painkillers a little too much. She had made some comments to me and other family members along the way about all her pills and stuff, which kind of alluded to her having a pill problem.
My family ended up being wrong. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, changed with the arrival of the baby. My mom had stressed herself out over it to the point that she gave herself the shingles. I didn’t know but my mom was devising a plan. She wanted to fix her family and see her grandkids play with one another and she knew that the only way to do that was to surpass my brother and go right to the source of all the problems…..Satan herself……
To be continued in my next post.