(Please read my previous posts so the story makes sense)
They say that narcissists, sociopaths and the like all have a very good read on other people. Especially when they’re people in places of power. They know who to make friends with and who isn’t worth their time. In fact; I found this website www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com which if I didn’t know any better, is written about Satan, my brothers wife. I took an excerpt from the article that sums up what this post is going to pertain to. “They are unconcerned about the relationships that they ruin or the families that they destroy. Narcissistic sisters-in-law are often money hungry. They cultivate close relationships with the family matriarch, befriend her and become her confidante…”
As I said in my last post, my aunt Bea has had it out for me ever since I exposed the truth about her son, who was molesting one of my younger cousins (and also tried to do the same with others). It wasn’t like she was actively trying to destroy my life, but she would do things like give my backhanded compliments or post passive aggressive things towards me on social media. My mom and her were close and spoke a few times a week. Of course with everything going on with my brother and me, she would vent to her. Aunt Bea had stuck her nose into the situation a few times, trying to play “peacemaker”. I, myself even got into it a few times with her. Whenever my mom would discuss things with her. She’d end up all calling me all upset. My aunt would make it pretty clear that she supported my brother over me. She would make my mom feel terrible about sticking up for me or taking my side. She would constantly make her feel like a shitty mother.
It started to seem like my aunt was going out of her way to be friendly with Satan. She would constantly comment on Satan’s stuff and it was just such over the top bullshit. If we hardly knew Satan, my aunt and her were perfect strangers. Every time Satan would post a photo she’d write these way over the top comments. I mean she’d really lay it on thick. My mom felt like when she did that, it was basically like saying, “I know my sister is an asshole but I’m not!”. She was right. Family should stick together. A sister and a niece should take precedence over a nephews girlfriend. No one was asking her to be mean or to ignore the girl but was it really necessary for her to comment on every single thing she posted on Facebook, with these sappy, over-the-top, bullshit comments? Hit the like button if you can’t control your impulses. Not for nothing but Satan should’ve been deleted off her page as soon as Satan deleted my mom off of hers. I mean that’s her sister. She should be loyal. I know it’s just Facebook and all but to me it’s the same as her going out of her way to text or call her. I swear social media has changed the way I look at so many people. It gives people a platform and exposes a side of them that we probably wouldn’t know otherwise. For my Aunt Bea, it exposes her phoniness.
It was Sept of 2014 and I was forced to see my brother and Satan at a party for my Grandmother that was being held at my Aunt Bea’s house. I really didn’t want to go. It had been almost an entire year since I’d seen them. I only saw them one other time at a party and we all avoided one another. I especially didn’t want to see them this time, because about a week before the party, they had announced that Satan was having a baby! I really didn’t want to sit there and watch my family gushing over this asshole. Remember that while I’m telling you guys this story, I am only giving the highlights….or should I say, low lights. There were so many little things that happened over that year. It would be impossible for me to recount them all. Anyway, I will skip other family events but when it comes to my grandmother’s Birthday, I cannot miss it. We are fortunate to still have her around and well at 90 years old.
Anyway it was the most awkward party I have ever been to. Satan and my brother were in one room, we were in a completely different room. We did not say hi to one another and there was an obvious tension in the air. This was also the second party they had shown up at in the whole year. At the first party I remember my brother was leaving and saying goodbye to everyone. I was talking to my husband and a few of my cousins. My brother came right up to us, said goodbye to my cousins, my husband and and walked right past me. After the party my mom and him got in yet another fight. Prior to then my brother kept telling my mom that he was going to fix things but they had to be in babysteps. That day she told him to shove his babysteps up his ass!
Prior to the party I had asked my mom to do me a favor. I didn’t want her to bring my 2 1/2 year old son over to my brother so he could play with him. I don’t not want my son to think that’s ok. I don’t want him getting attached to my brother and then never seeing him again. If my brother isn’t talking to me then he shouldn’t have the privilege of playing with my son. My husband felt the same way. Of course though my mom didn’t listen to me. I had stepped outside to have a cigarette when suddenly I look in the window and see my brother holding my son. I tapped on the window and looked at my mom and shook my head. I had to put my sons trike back in the car so I didn’t forget it and so I went through the backyard gate to walk to the street. After I put the trike in the car and started heading back towards the house I hear the front door swing open and slam into the side of the house. Satan is storming out wit my brother following behind yelling, “what do you want me to do honey? What do you want me to do?”. She looked pissed. Later on I heard that she saw my brother pick my son off and her face turned bright red. She marched over to him, tapped his shoulder and gestured with her finger to come with her. Everyone said she looked really angry. Of course that’s the the story they told, according to them, Satan had a rare form of morning sickness known as “Hyperemesis gravidarum”. Of course she had that. She heard it on the news when Princess Kate Middleton had it. The reality was that she was angry that my brother picked up my son. His attention was off her for a minute. He got off the leash for a few and ran for it!
Families are supposed to be happy when there’s an announcement of a baby. Me and my mom seemed to be the only ones who weren’t that happy about it. It actually made us sad and for several reasons, one being that we knew this meant my brother and Satan would be bound for life. The other being that we probably wouldn’t get to see much of the baby and my son would never have a cousin to play with like we always did. I even kind of felt sad for my brother. I knew one day he would be a great father. I knew he was probably so excited about being a dad and it sucked because he couldn’t even really share that excitement with his mom and his sister. Under normal circumstances I know he would’ve called me up and asked me questions and it would’ve been nice to bond with him over parenthood. It made me just sad. I would want to have my niece or nephew in my life but I know Satan wouldn’t allow it.
My aunt Bea was over joyed by the baby and couldn’t understand why my mom was upset. My Aunt Bea completely lacks empathy. She doesn’t get it. My mom was all alone. She didn’t have a husband like my Uncle Bob who does everything for my Aunt. Hell she doesn’t even have to pump her own gas. She’s never even driven her car on the main highway. My mom worked two jobs and took care of her home all by herself. Her kids and Grandkids were her world and knowing that she’d never see them all together made her incredibly sad My aunt would tell my mom she was wrong for not being happy and feeling sad. She would tell her she should just be happy and that hopefully the baby would change my brother and magically fix things between us.
People in my family did not seem to understand what kind of person we were dealing with. My family does not understand mental disorders. They don’t understand that this person is a sick, sadistic, succubus! They all acknowledged that something was “off” about Satan but they didn’t seem to understand that she crossed the threshold of from slightly off to “clinically disordered”. I watched a video on YouTube last night by spartan lifecoach where he was discussing 20 signs that someone is a covert narcissist. The first sign that he brought up was that the fact that you’re doing research about narcissists, borderlines or sociopaths in the first place. It’s the truth. If you started to research all these things, there’s a reason. It’s because you noted something was off about your partner, parent, friend, sister-in-law, etc. My brother told me he had done a lot of research and he concluded she was BPD. I have always wondered what exactly brought him to that conclusion. What were his initial search terms? In the future I plan to do a post about the red flags that I noticed and give specific examples. We will get there….
To be continued in my next post.